The Brink

Last year I received a phone call from the hospital that nobody wants to get. I picked up, and a nurse identified herself and said, “Get a ride to the emergency room right away - you don’t have enough blood in your body right now and your heart might stop at any moment.”

Time slowed down. I was freaked out. I knew I had been bleeding severely from a fibroid (benign tumor) in my uterus, but I didn’t know until that moment that the amount of blood in my body had gotten dangerously low. I went to the emergency room, where I had to spend the night and receive two pints of blood transfusion. I had never received a transfusion before, and didn’t know how my body would respond.

My life was in jeopardy at that moment… I was contained and safe, yet so utterly scared.

A dear friend came to be at the Emergency Room with me, held my feet, and prayed with me while they started the transfusion. I felt funny, but my body accepted the blood and my condition stabilized.

Soon after the transfusion I made plans to have the fibroid removed.  While I didn't want to have surgery, I finally said yes because there was basically no other option. I was taking three birth control pills a day just to not bleed to death. My mind and hormones were a mess, and I was terrified each day until the surgery. If I lost too much blood again before the scheduled procedure, I might have required an emergency operation at any moment.

This was also around the time of the “Standing Rock” movement. As my fibroid bleeding had been getting worse, I was watching with horror as the militarized response to peaceful protestors unfolded. I supported the movement from my keyboard and sharing and did everything I could to help create awareness that water is life.

I had always felt a connection with the sacredness of water, but Standing Rock and this bleeding crisis happening at the same time lent itself to a new level of clarity. The doctor said that fibroids, “Just happen” and there was no “known cause” for them. But as these warriors stated with conviction,“Water is life.”

I heard that in contaminated water areas, the salmon and animals were experiencing tumors, I began to understand the terrifying truth.

I had seen an article in Good Housekeeping that the Environmental Working Group studied tap water and had, “found 267 different contaminants across the country, including lead, nitrate and the carcinogen Chromium-6, which was famously featured in the movie Erin Brockovich. The EWG states that not only did over 40,000 water systems test positive for cancer-causing substances, but the levels also topped established federal or state health guidelines.”

I had this deep knowing that part of my condition with my fibroid was being caused by toxins in the environment; endocrine disruptors, my hormones being out of whack, and my body trying to metabolize more toxicity than I actually could.

I was angry. I wanted to scream, why doesn't anyone care enough about the water for me to be well in my reproductive system? Why don’t decision makers and companies and corporations care enough about the water and the land and the wellbeing of the planet so that I can be healthy and not be bleeding to death right now?

I was livid, and started looking at the whole planetary context in a very personal way.

This tied to the context of wondering, “Why don't people care enough about women and their sovereignty and consent - to not allow a man who feels entitled to grab women by the pussy into the White House?”

After losing so much blood, and surviving a health crisis, I feel compelled to help empower and educate more people about leaky gut, inflammation and health choices, and about the vital importance of caring for the environment. I feel like our current society is becoming more and more like the Handmaid's Tale - the story of a dystopian future where most women can't have babies.

Friends… Women's reproductive systems and health are under attack through negligence and the state of our environment. We're being systematically killed... slowly enough for the systems in place to charge us handsomely for the pleasure.

We have to start paying attention. We have to start speaking up and saying no.

Thankfully, although I visited the brink, I’m back. My health is stronger than ever before.

The experience has bolstered my appreciation for life and reignited my sense of purpose. I am so compelled to help make a difference on the planet and in the priorities and awareness of people.

One way I’m doing this is helping empower women to grow their sense of sovereignty, their clarity, their voice and their connection with their intuition and pleasure.

Glad to be on this planet and connected with you. Thanks for reading. Thanks for caring.

I invite you to stay connected with me in this empowerment adventure by joining my email list here.

With warmth and appreciation,

Marna